"Doing nothing good" — John Falco on brewing, pizza, coronavirus, Iraq, Donkey Kong
In an episode that was stretched to unusual lengths by bubbly white wine, Mike and our guest John Falco talk about the coronavirus' continued impact on their businesses, sleeping on rugs, video game documentaries, John's participation in the Iraq surge, parenting, Peter Meehan, and how little either of them actually wanted to show up to record this podcast.
Also, we touch lightly on what John does for a living (beer and pizza).
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Transcript
Michael Beltrán: (00:26)
Welcome to this episode of Pan Con Podcast. My name is Mike Beltrán.
Nicolás Antonio Jiménez: (00:31)
Cupping the microphone is a hundred percent unhelpful.
Michael Beltrán: (00:37)
What?
Nicolás Antonio Jiménez: (00:37)
It's a terrible idea.
Michael Beltrán: (00:38)
I don't understand what you're saying.
John Falco: (00:39)
If you use two hands it's probably better.
Michael Beltrán: (00:40)
How does this sound though? Does this sound better or no?
Nicolás Antonio Jiménez:
You should do the whole podcast like that.
Michael Beltrán: (00:46)
Maybe I will.
John Falco: (00:48)
Like a fuckin' drive through.
Michael Beltrán: (00:49)
Should we do the monologue we practiced before?
John Falco: (00:52)
Nothing's better than a good monologue.
Michael Beltrán: (00:53)
Did you watch the, like, outtakes or whatever? The clips from that town hall meeting? What was it in West Palm Beach or something?
John Falco: (01:00)
Where people are screaming about having to wear masks? That was magic.
Michael Beltrán: (01:05)
I won't wear a mask. Jesus created us without a mask. You are Satan. You're praying to Satan. If you're not praying to Jesus, you're praying to Satan. I will not wear a mask. I didn't create me with a mask, so I will not wear one.
John Falco: (01:18)
Makes sense. Didn't create you with them shoes, either. I was just at CVS on US-1 and the poor lady at the front who has to people all daym there was some old dude in there and she's like, "Oh, be safe." The guy's like "Oh, you really want to be safe? Psalms 91." I'm like here we go. They're like, "Yeah, plagues will not affect you if you are in the light of the Lord." I wanted to be like, "Hey grandpa, didn't like nine people at a church just die because they wanted to go to choir practice?"
Michael Beltrán: (01:56)
Did that just happen?
John Falco: (01:57)
Back in the day, maybe a month ago.
Michael Beltrán: (01:59)
It seems like a month ago was back in the day. It seems like when this all started, we were like, "This is only going to be two weeks." Seems like fucking six years ago.
John Falco: (02:09)
You know, when it all started and they shut us down, I was like, "Huh, I guess I'll just binge drink, smoke a lot of weed."
Michael Beltrán: (02:15)
God bless.
John Falco: (02:15)
So I do that for a short period of time, about three weeks. I've had longer binges; I have in the past. And I was like, "Fuck, okay. I got to get better." So I got healthy, worked out. Good. I think I'm approaching binge. It's just a bell curve of shit.
Michael Beltrán: (02:34)
First of all, let's tell all the people who you are.
John Falco: (02:38)
Keanu Reeves.
John Falco would have given up his place as this episode’s guest if his replacement were Keanu Reeves.
Michael Beltrán: (02:44)
I would love to interview Keanu Reeves.
John Falco: (02:44)
Oh God. If he shows up right now he can have the mic.
Michael Beltrán: (02:47)
I think the most epic podcast ever would be Keanu Reeves, Wesley Snipes and Steven Seagal. All at the same time.
John Falco: (02:56)
You would have to find something that they all disagree on and have them argue.
Michael Beltrán: (02:59)
David Hasselhoff. They would all disagree about David Hasselhoff.
John Falco: (03:02)
"David Hasselhoff. Discuss." That's all you gotta do. Uh... Falco.
Nicolás Antonio Jiménez: (03:08)
Just Falco.
Michael Beltrán: (03:12)
Just Falco. Just call me Falco.
John Falco: (03:14)
My dad's name is John. Everyone always historically has called me Falco, just because a lot of my last name, but I was a military guy. So they always refer to you by your last name and there's a lot of fucking Johns in this world. There's a lot of Mike's too, but, John is like the historically most common name with John Doe, right? Yeah, so I'm Falco. And I'm glad to be here.
Nicolás Antonio Jiménez: (03:41)
Speaking of there being a lot of Mikes, this is the second Mike podcast that you've done. You were also...
John Falco: (03:49)
Oh yeah I was on Tea Time.
Michael Beltrán: (03:49)
All I remember about that was three hours of Mike Ortiz rambling the whole time.
John Falco: (03:56)
Mike Ortiz would probably say three hours of fucking the two of us rambling.
Michael Beltrán: (03:59)
No, I don't think so. Mike would be like, "You're right. Yeah. Well, you know, long format podcasts are things that people really enjoy." That's what he would say. And if he's listening, nobody enjoys it. Nobody, nobody enjoys that. I'm sorry.
John Falco: (04:11)
People with a tremendous amount of patience on long road trips could dig into that.
Michael Beltrán: (04:19)
So Strange Beast?
Peaty the dog at Strange Beast Brewpub & Pizzeria
John Falco: (04:21)
Yeah. So, that's the latest concept, Strange Beast Brewpub & Pizzeria. Neapolitan style pizza. Obviously, you know, we respect tradition, much in the way you do. Of course your concept's totally different than what we're doing. But, you know, we twist it up a little bit. We dig a little bit into nostalgia, for example, like our chopped pepperoni, you know, was very much like ... I kind of wanted that chopped pepperoni feel that you got on Thursdays in public school, on pizza day. But things like that. Brewpub and pizzeria. We got another one on the way in Palmetto Bay, which will be called Maxwell Brothers Clothing Store, actually, which is very odd.
Michael Beltrán: (05:04)
I like the name, I liked the name. So, and just correct me here. You are part of Lincoln's Beard too?